Lazy Person’s Guide To Getting Work Done

We’ve all been in the position, whether it’s at work, in school, where there was just so much work to do, that you had a hard time getting around all of the monotonous and boring tasks that yield little return in enriching your life or providing you with stimulation. Here are a few tips to help you put things off effectively.

Procrastinate
This one should be pretty obvious if you are as lazy as I am. In life, just have the mantra “If it’s important, it will come to me”. For example, if you have a deadline, you can rely on those people affected by your work being done to remind you of your deadline, you don’t really need to sweat it and schedule yourself or any of that fancy stuff. If somebody really needs something, they will let you know. Otherwise, it can’t really be that important, now can it?.

As another example, say you need to clean up around the house, when you walk by stinky kitty litter and can’t stand the smell, it’s time to change it. There are all sorts of subtle and not-so-subtle hints out there that you need to do something other than the junk on your task list. Learn to read these signals so that you can hold off on doing things as long as possible.


Use Downtime To Relax
The general rule of procrastination is that the longer you hold off on doing a task, the faster you will have to complete that task to meet your deadlines. So think about your ability to get shit done as a battery that loses its charge rapidly when you slip into overdrive in order to meet a deadline. To recharge these batteries, you need to spend as much time relaxing as possible. After a long week of work or school, nothing will make you feel better than waking up at noon on Saturday, sitting around in your own filth and catching up on your favouite shows.

In the end, this method is quite effective, because by getting your work done quickly, you both finish all your shit and maximize the amount of time you get to spend on surfing the web and watching TV shows on your computer.


Don’t be an idiot
This guide reinforces methods of being lazy and getting things done, not being lazy and letting your life go to shit. Procrastinating in moderation is key. As a general rule, never procrastinate on anything that will cost you money. Procrastination should never come at a cost; it should in itself be a method of efficiency that saves you from doing the useless shit you don’t really need to do right now. For example, say you have a chip in your windshield of your car. FIX THIS IMMEDIATELY, because the longer you wait, the more money it’s going to cost you later. There are just some things that you need to keep on top of, and being able to identify the difference between these and the things to let slide is the key to not screwing yourself over with your laziness. Hence the title, don’t be an idiot.


I would of included more of the titles from the original article and parodized them, but this is starting to get a bit boring and repetitive and I have some serious Smallville to go watch.


Based on "Busy Person's Guide to Getting Work Done"